In the Fifth Commandment, we see the importance of parental authority. Although many commands and principles in scripture relate to parenting, there is no explicit command for parents to honor their children-but children are commanded to honor their parents. In so ordering His law, God has placed special emphasis on parental authority. Parents are God’s primary earthly authority over their children. They are called to be God’s ministers to teach them right from wrong, to grow them in the ways of God, to guide and direct them in the course of their lives. Set above parental authority is the authority of God Himself, who graciously gives to parents the stewardship of rearing the children He has created.

God requires that children properly respond to parental authority. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph 6:1). Children are called to obey their parents in the fear of God (cf. Eph 5:21). The reason given by God is that it is right to do so. When parents and children bargain or debate over obedience, the flame of rebellion is unwittingly fueled. Only when parental expectations are in opposition to God’s laws or clear scriptural principles can children say, “we ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). Even in adulthood, children should lean in favor of their parents’ wishes as appropriate in the sight of God.

Disobedience to parental authority is disobedience to God, “for there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God” (Rom 13:1). The fallen state of humanity gives rise to disobedience to authority in general and to parents in particular. The prodigal son “journeyed to a far country” (Luke 15:13) to be away from the eye of his father-and many similarly run from parental authority, whether overtly or secretly. When children thus rebel against the proper use of parental authority, God can say to parents as He said to Samuel concerning Israel, “they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them” (1 Sam 8:7). Indeed, in the eyes of a Holy God, “rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry” (1 Sam 15:23).

God requires that parents properly use their authority. A father was once disciplining his young boy for eating chocolates that he had forbidden to him. In the midst of a mild spanking, the boy was reaching his hand into the box of chocolates, eating even more. Not only had the child failed in this example but the parent as well. Foolishness is bound up in the hearts of children (Proverbs 22:15), and parents are responsible for proper training and discipline to drive it from them. In so disciplining their children, however, parents must avoid extremes that would tend to discourage and provoke them: “…Do not provoke your children to wrath,” fathers are commanded, “but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Harsh words, lack of love, insensitivity, or extreme forms of discipline on the part of parents can foster an angry and rebellious spirit within their children. Although children are never justified in the sight of God for having such a spirit, parents may bear some of the blame for provoking it in them. True harmony in the home can only be achieved as parental authority is properly recognized, training and discipline are properly applied, and love and tenderness overflow from the hearts of parents and children.

In the Fifth Commandment, we see the state of human hearts and our need of salvation in Jesus Christ. All children have disobeyed or disrespected the authority of their parents at times. They have failed to give their parents the honor, love, and respect that God requires. They sometimes answer back to their parents with sarcasm. They sometimes disobey their parents, and even when they do obey, it is often not with a submissive heart. They sometimes even lie to their parents. Such behavior is an abomination in the sight of God. In Israel, cursing or striking a parent was punishable by death (Ex. 21:15,17), demonstrating the seriousness of parental authority in the sight of God. A man related a story from his youth of how he once spoke very harshly to his mother in a moment of anger. He often contemplates that God could have taken his life at that very moment.

Even among those who profess the true God there are those who greatly dishonor their parents. Although they claim valid reasons for the poor state of their child-parent relationship, it often results from a spirit of independence and selfishness that is common to a generation that has rejected its parents. Christ Himself condemned the Pharisees for setting aside the honor of father and mother for the sake of their own traditions (Mark 7:9-13)-and these were men who were meticulous in their religious observance. Similarly, some, though meticulous in their beliefs and observances, greatly lack in their honor of one or both parents. To such, Christ can say as He said to the Pharisees, “you have neglected the weightier matters of the law” (Matt 23:23).

Even when the outward forms of obedience are present, God sees the heart. He knows the motivations, the thoughts, and the intentions; and with Him, there is nothing hidden that will not be brought to light. Yes, the Fifth Commandment alone is sufficient ground for God to condemn the human race, and we all greatly need the mercy of God.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the only One who ever perfectly obeyed His parents. He always submitted to the authority of His father and mother. He never sinned against them. At the age of twelve, He was already about His heavenly Father’s business (Luke 2:49), but He still remained subject to His parents (Luke 2:51). If ever a child could legitimately claim superiority to his parents, it was Christ. He did not do so. While in their home and under their authority, He submitted to them, and His submission was done perfectly from the heart.

The Lord Jesus Christ perfectly obeyed His heavenly Father, even unto the sacrifice of His life to save sinners. Christ submitted to His heavenly Father throughout His life. “I have come down from heaven,” He said, “not to do my will, but the will of Him who sent me” (John 6:38). Although He existed in the form of God (Phil 2:6), He came to be a servant. Though He bore equality with the Father (John 5:18), He took the role of the Savior in submission to His Father: “Behold I have come-In the volume of the book it is written of me-To do Your will, O God” (Heb 10:7). His great and final act of obedience during His earthly ministry was the giving of His life to save sinners. “And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Phil 2:8). It is by this act of greatest obedience that Christ brings salvation to human beings who have fallen short of God’s standards. “For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one man’s obedience many will be made righteous” (Rom 5:19).

Let us, therefore, turn to the Lord for salvation, for in salvation we receive the forgiveness of our sins and the indwelling of God’s Spirit to enable us to walk in His ways. Only then can we know the blessings of the Fifth Commandment. “‘Honor your father and mother’, which is the first commandment with a promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth” (Eph 6:2-3).