The first four of the Ten Commandments prescribe our duty toward God, the remaining six our duty toward man. The fifth commandment, which is the first of the last six, is the commandment to honor father and mother. The placement of the fifth commandment at the head of the commandments governing human relationships is significant, for the family is the foundation of society, and foundational to the proper working of the family is the honor of father and mother. The fifth commandment also reveals the spiritual condition of each individual before God by focusing on one of the closest of human relationships, that of child and parent.

We see that parents are to be honored. The Hebrew word translated as “honor” in the fifth commandment literally means “to make heavy” (cf. Lamentations 3:7), making a more literal reading of the fifth commandment, “make heavy your father and your mother.” Parents are to carry great weight in the lives of their children. Just as scales tip in favor of heavy weight, so the disposition and actions of children are to lean heavily toward their parents. They are to have a bias toward their parents that honors and esteems them highly. They are to obey their parents and to do practical things in which the outworking of love for them is displayed. They are to always be concerned for their parents’ good and to fervently pray on their behalf. They are to speak to their parents with the utmost respect.

The meaning of the fifth commandment is further amplified in Leviticus 19:3: “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father...” The word “revere” is often translated “fear” (in the sense of reverence or awe) in the Old Testament. The two passages taken together command that great honor and reverence be given to parents. The same words for honor and reverence are often applied in the scriptures to describe how humanity is to properly approach God; indeed, we cannot honor and revere God if we do not honor and revere our parents. It was prophesied of John the Baptist that he would turn “the hearts of the children to their fathers” in preparing the hearts of the people for the Lord (Malachi 4:6). The state of the heart toward parents is, therefore, a strong indication of the state of the heart toward God.

Parents who raise their children to love and fear God are worthy of double honor, for theirs is one of the greatest of all undertakings on the earth. The humble and godly mother, who gives her heart and life to raise her children for the Lord, is of far more value than all of the world’s possessions. She is worthy of the praise of the woman who fears the Lord: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her…” (Proverbs 30:28). The father who deeply loves his wife and children and leads them in the ways of God is among the greatest of men on the earth, even though he goes unrecognized by most. Such fathers and mothers are the gift of God not only to their children, but also to the church, to their nation, and to the world. They are the salt of the earth and the light of the world, those of whom the world is not worthy-but those of whom the world is in great need. Oh for more parents such as these! Those who have even one such parent should consider that God has bestowed a great blessing upon them. They should respond with joyful honor even when the yoke of their parents seems difficult, knowing that their parents are setting them on the narrow road that leads to eternal life. Even such parents, however, who honor God in sincerity, often fall short in their parenting. In such times, children are to extend honor to them because God has commanded them to do so.

Many parents are not so obedient to the ways of God. Some have neglected the most basic of duties toward their children, even to the point of abandonment. Some, though they provide for their children, have not raised them to know and follow God. Some have essentially abandoned their children even though physically living with them. Some have been abusive to their children, whether physically or emotionally. Many other types of serious parental failures also occur. Such parents have turned aside from the ways of God, and their behavior, if not repented of, will be to their own judgment. How are children to behave toward such parents? God’s commandment is to honor them- even them. Even parents who dishonor God are worthy of honor from their children. The fifth commandment is not conditional. Even when the child can do nothing to maintain a close relationship, there must never be bitterness or hostility rooted in the child’s heart. In the very least, the child can honor the parent by having concern in the heart and prayer upon the lips.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the perfect example of obedience and the Savior of His people. Jesus honored his parents throughout His life and until the very end. Even when dying on the cross, Christ’s concern was for the welfare of His already widowed mother, Mary. While the sorrow and agony of a slow and painful death were upon Him, He looked and saw her standing there at the foot of the cross. In a final act of deepest honor to His mother, He turned to the apostle John, raised up His body in excruciating pain, and took in enough breath to say to him, “Behold your mother” (John 19:27). In so doing, Christ committed His mother to the care of the most tender of the apostles, who would honor her as his own. Christ could have waited until His resurrection to take care of His mother’s affairs, but He would not have her spend even one night without the comfort of a believing son to care for her. He knew that a sword was piercing His mother’s soul, and it was His will to give her sufficient comfort for those three days until she would rejoice in His resurrection. The honoring of His parents was one way in which Christ demonstrated Himself to be the sinless Son of God. He is the great standard by which the honoring of father and mother is to be measured. He alone, as the perfect sacrifice for sins, can be the Savior of humanity, for we have all fallen short in our obedience to the commandments of God.

Let us honor our parents while there is still time. The time may come when our parents are taken from us, and such is the normal course of events. In that day, how will we think? How will the many petty disagreements seem then? When the shadow of death has brought about a final silence between child and parent, what will be remembered? Will there be any comfort in that day? Will there be any peace of heart? Many a person has stood weeping at the graveside of a departed parent, and would gladly give all of his or her worldly possessions if only to have one last chance to say “I love you”; if only to be able to ask for forgiveness; if only to be able to embrace in one final hug wherein that love would be expressed that was lacking while the parent yet lived. For some, this kind of tragic parting has already come, and to such the comfort must be given that there can be healing and forgiveness with God. To the rest of us, let it not be so as long as we have a day called today. Let the honoring of father and mother be done as long as we have the breath of life, and let us embrace the forgiveness of our sins in Jesus Christ when we see that we fall short.